Product Highlight: Master Series Governor

We all want to rule with an iron fist, be the masters of all domains or at least our own. Yet so many of us are nothing but desk jockeys, eyeing the world behind office partitions and daydreaming of a life well-spent.

We go to high school and are told the best thing for us to do is to get a college education. Most go to college and some graduate. Most people end up in an entry-level office job hoping to one day rise to middle management. They want the American dream: a house with a picket fence, a yard, spouse, 2.5 kids and maybe a dog. Most people, with or without college, will get that to some degree, but it all comes with crippling debt. They sign mortgage papers so they will pay the bank for 30 years. The house for $150,000 will cost about $250,000 with all the interest and let’s not get into taxes. If they are lucky then they’ll pay off that house within 20 years, but I doubt that because refinancing seems so much better. That way they can afford all the toys everyone else has: a boat, an RV, a motorcycle, orthodontist bills, plastic surgery, and so on and so forth.

Fast forward to age 65, they hate their job and want to retire but can’t, because they’re still paying off an infinite amount of debt. Looks like all control was lost to have the “Dream” lifestyle but they’re OK with it because they decided to pay out of the ass a bit more to put their kids through college. It was all worth it, huh?

Well now there is a better solution. Instead of getting fist fucked by life over the span of 30 or more years with crippling debt, do yourself a favor and actually go out and enjoy that life. But first pick yourself up a Master Series life-sized steel fist, AKA “The Governor”. That way when people ask why you don’t work a traditional job, why you decided to go enjoy the short period of time you have on this earth, you can say, “Don’t worry! I skipped the hassle of lifelong crippling debt and fist-fucked myself!”

The Governor is a solid eight pounds of steel to reinforce that you are the master of your own domain. It has a solid base to it, so you can lower yourself down without worrying if it will tip or move. You may want to use a lube with this, which is much more than what life will provide before giving it to you up the ass. Its sleek design also makes it a beautiful centerpiece for your mantel, which certainly will generate great dinner-party conservation.

You CAN take control of your life back from society while still taking it up the ass like your friends and family members do, because let’s be honest: misery loves company! Get the Governor and enjoy a good fist up the ass today!

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Play with toys, not boys!

Govna Final