7 Amazing Penis Facts

  1. The average wad of man-fluid holds 40 million sperm, but there can be as many as 600 million squiggly guys, being thrust in to the world at 28 mph. And all it takes is one little tadpole, squirming at 200 seconds an inch, down to the egg and then… well, ask your father.
  2. The mammal with the biggest shvantz – the blue whale at 8 feet. The smallest? The shrew at 0.2 inches. Where do we humans fit in? Well, the good news is that we are the most well-endowed of our ape cousins. A gorilla’s dong dangles at a mere 2 inches. Relative to body size, however, the pig takes the prize, as they can have up to a foot-and-a-half wiener.
  3. Most of the world’s penises are uncircumcised – a recent study showed only 30% of boys over 15 are cut, the majority of them being Jews or Muslims. Yet, in the US, the number is close to 55%, due to possible health benefits from the procedure. And what do they do with all those foreskins? Doctors have perfected a way to grow skin for burn victims from the leftover skins. In fact one foreskin can produce 9,000 square inches of new skin.
  4. Most Mammals have a penis bone. Basically, your Johnson is like a sponge or balloon that literally fills with blood. When it’s at full sail, the blood flow is cut off, producing a stiffy. And while you probably know that there is no bone in the human penis, the baculum or penis-bone is common in most mammals, including chimpanzees and gorillas. And even though there is no bone in your boner, a klutzy move during sexytime could cause you to break your penis. OUCH!! Be careful out there!!!
  5. Sexual arousal is involuntary. In fact, the words “sexual arousal” may have just gotten you sexually aroused. It mainly occurs in the sympathetic nervous system, not the conscious mind. During REM sleep, the male brain fires off boner orders on the average of 9 times a night. And when men ejaculate, the command comes from the spinal cord, not the brain. As Silvio Burlusconi once said, “Bunga bunga.”
  6. The size of the average man’s junk is 5 to 6.4 inches when erect, measuring from the tip to the pubic bone. Contrary to popular belief, you cannot gauge the size of a man’s penis by his foot, finger, or nose. A recent South Korean study touted the correlation between penis length and the size of the index finger relative to the middle finger, but that is full of holes. The good news is that research shows most women don’t place much emphasis on penis size, it’s all about the wallet – I mean, heart.
  7. Blue balls is real. Prostatic congestion is the medical term for it – when the testicles and prostate are filled with too much goo and you can’t get relief. Fortunately, instead of doing something irrational, a man could simply take an aspirin, a cold shower, or think about grandma having sex with grandpa.